Comical

In a Handbasket

It isn't strep. She's gonna be ok.

Me, today at the doctors, with my friendly interrogator the nurse

Nurse: Nice, I like your shirt
(I check, I'm wearing a metal band's shirt)
Me: Oh, thanks.
Nurse: Symptoms?
Me: I.. coughed up blood. Not much blood. Not enough to impress me. Maybe enough to impress you?
Nurse: Do you smoke?
Me: Not all metal fans smoke. (haha! its ALSO a pun)
Nurse: Date of your last menstrual period?
Me: Is there any other kind I should be informed of?
Nurse: Any chance you might be pregnant?
Me: Is coughing up blood a symptom of that? brutal.
Nurse: I'm gonna take your blood pressure.
Me: (hold forth the arm with blood in it)
Nurse: I usually use the right arm?
Me: It's prosthetic.
Nurse: Put this on your forefinger
Me: I hope the previous guy didn't have an open wound on his finger like I do... ok.
Nurse: And, put this under your tongue.
Me: Rgmrfksshins...? (Got any more questions?)
Nurse: Step up on the scale.
Me: my boots weigh a whole pound.
Nurse: And one last thing, blow into this as hard as you can. Face the wall.
Me: Wouldn't want my deadly germs hitting you in the face.
Nurse: Blow as hard as you can!
Me: I suppose '400' isn't epic enough? If that had been my temperature, we'd both be in trouble.

"He coughs up blood?"
"Not like he used to...."

Maybe you've guessed, half or more of this is inner monologue.

Uncertainty

as an undefined quality
as a process toward
becoming peacefully

as release sans expectation of containment
deeply resounding the reverberate canyons
of stomach of lungs of fingers quivering

absorption into trust
rejoicing in the untamed
waking to the sleepless

Idea of March

Alright March, what's the big idea?

One of my friends has passed into the beyond which I so nonchalantly resolved to discuss in every post a few weeks ago. I still have cds of hers. One of them was Bella Morte. Beautiful dead. She introduced me to a lot of music and she always had a smile and a hug for me. In fact, she insisted on the hug. What a sweet girl.

Another friend was savagely beaten... this week. I might have talked to him 10 (or less?) minutes before it happened if I'd answered my phone. Who knows, sometimes little things change people's lives. Maybe he would have been unharmed. He's doing fine, from what I know. I've heard from him since and he's recovering quickly.

You see, I'm not blaming myself. Just questioning. I have so many questions. Questions circling my mind like bayonetted vultures. Waiting to run into each other so they can feast on my curiosity.

Who is it who's in danger of curiousity? Cats? Ah. right. cats.

Free Will for Sale?

Interesting conversation about free will last night.

It can be argued that free will does not exist. We are all parts of who we are surrounded by from birth to present. We function in the ways we are shown how to, with preferences we've acquired from watching those close to us.
Do we have personality other than what our friends and family afford us?
Do we pick up pieces based on what we find affinity with? Or based on what we hear most often?

I rarely state my opinion on things like this. I like to 'know' answers, but don't believe in answers. I believe in 'good' and 'wrong' and how they influence us.

So the topic was introduced that perhaps in marriage, free will is put down. Is it?
Couldn't the choice to accept what one brings to a marriage be entirely dictated by free will?
Ideally I would want to be so happy to love and devote to someone the title of married that I would consider it a free choice.

Yet how does one define 'marriage'?

feel free to answer. If you can.
I find myself thinking 'what if my answer depended on the person?'

"You're Full of Hot Air"

"Is this a dream blog?" you're beginning to wonder....

Well, no, but starting at this point I plan to relate all new posts to DEATH in one way or another.

This post is about hell.


I keep dreaming that I'm trying to take a drink of something. Juice, water, even milk. And even if an inch, inch and a half, half the glass disappears.... I feel hot rushes of air on the back of my throat. No relief.

Relief is waking up. Deciding I'll try the gatorade, even though I think it won't work. Relief is cool liquid sugarlectrolyte soothing my mouth and finally the back of my aching throat.

This is what I think hell would be like. Hot air replacing a cool drink.

Rocky Horror Sexy Show

Question: What was I doing last night with my slightly-sick self? (really, I have a cold.... I'm not just referring to the derangement you may or may not yet be aware of)
Answer: Participating in the Rocky Horror Picture Show Shadow-casting! For anyone who does not know (both of my followers do, but hey, I'm a hopeful individual) this is an event in which a cast acts out the movie in front of the movie screen as it plays. They don't do the speaking part, just the visual.

Last night was phenomenal. I saw what I truly consider one of the best casts I've ever seen. Previous ones have been excellent, but this one completely took the cake.I tend to think that any Rocky is only as good as its Frankenfurter.... which vaults this show to 'Phenomenal.' Anyone would think I'm biased. Even I would ask myself 'Am I?', since Frank was played by one of my best friends.
I watched. I was there. I've cringed at bad Franks before. Or at tiny mistakes from good Franks. Last night marks the 15th show I've seen in this theater with this cast, 17th show that I've seen of a live Rocky shadowcast, and he was among the 3 damn BEST Franks, dare I say the best I've seen. He did it with passion, he did it with accuracy, and was consistent with both those qualities throughout the show. Every facial expression matched, and that is difficult, let me tell you.

Question: Now how do we as a theater group make this show even More appealing to audience members?
Answer: We have a preshow... for this particular show, we had two preshows. I danced with a group, and then partner-danced to Peggy Lee's 'Fever' (without all the bass and piano, it's tough to find the correct version due to copyright). My god that was fun. The audience cheering for us and shouting our names really helped me focus on doing it right, and on thinking about what I was doing. It was a really good experience.
The other preshow was to 'Hail to the Geek'. A selection of our cast 'rocked out' to this song on rock band instruments. Really good idea by the producer of the show, in my opinion. The cast has a policy that no one in cast will sing onstage.... ever again (apparently it was painful).... so this sort of poked fun at that rule for some of us. People lip-synching and pretending to play fake instruments..... hilarity at its nerdiest.

I regret to say I have no pictures taken on my own camera, which is quite unusual for me. And quite unfortunate, because I'm able to get rather good photos (with my own camera) of Rocky shows, what with all the practice I've had. Friends handed me their cameras for this show and asked that I take pix for them. Hopefully I will eventually have access to some of those?
Though I massively prefer my own camera. I know how to get around its crap.

I stayed up til 7am. Habits like that will kill ya.