It isn't strep. She's gonna be ok.

Me, today at the doctors, with my friendly interrogator the nurse

Nurse: Nice, I like your shirt
(I check, I'm wearing a metal band's shirt)
Me: Oh, thanks.
Nurse: Symptoms?
Me: I.. coughed up blood. Not much blood. Not enough to impress me. Maybe enough to impress you?
Nurse: Do you smoke?
Me: Not all metal fans smoke. (haha! its ALSO a pun)
Nurse: Date of your last menstrual period?
Me: Is there any other kind I should be informed of?
Nurse: Any chance you might be pregnant?
Me: Is coughing up blood a symptom of that? brutal.
Nurse: I'm gonna take your blood pressure.
Me: (hold forth the arm with blood in it)
Nurse: I usually use the right arm?
Me: It's prosthetic.
Nurse: Put this on your forefinger
Me: I hope the previous guy didn't have an open wound on his finger like I do... ok.
Nurse: And, put this under your tongue.
Me: Rgmrfksshins...? (Got any more questions?)
Nurse: Step up on the scale.
Me: my boots weigh a whole pound.
Nurse: And one last thing, blow into this as hard as you can. Face the wall.
Me: Wouldn't want my deadly germs hitting you in the face.
Nurse: Blow as hard as you can!
Me: I suppose '400' isn't epic enough? If that had been my temperature, we'd both be in trouble.

"He coughs up blood?"
"Not like he used to...."

Maybe you've guessed, half or more of this is inner monologue.

"You're Full of Hot Air"

"Is this a dream blog?" you're beginning to wonder....

Well, no, but starting at this point I plan to relate all new posts to DEATH in one way or another.

This post is about hell.


I keep dreaming that I'm trying to take a drink of something. Juice, water, even milk. And even if an inch, inch and a half, half the glass disappears.... I feel hot rushes of air on the back of my throat. No relief.

Relief is waking up. Deciding I'll try the gatorade, even though I think it won't work. Relief is cool liquid sugarlectrolyte soothing my mouth and finally the back of my aching throat.

This is what I think hell would be like. Hot air replacing a cool drink.