Me, today at the doctors, with my friendly interrogator the nurse
Nurse: Nice, I like your shirt
(I check, I'm wearing a metal band's shirt)
Me: Oh, thanks.
Nurse: Symptoms?
Me: I.. coughed up blood. Not much blood. Not enough to impress me. Maybe enough to impress you?
Nurse: Do you smoke?
Me: Not all metal fans smoke. (haha! its ALSO a pun)
Nurse: Date of your last menstrual period?
Me: Is there any other kind I should be informed of?
Nurse: Any chance you might be pregnant?
Me: Is coughing up blood a symptom of that? brutal.
Nurse: I'm gonna take your blood pressure.
Me: (hold forth the arm with blood in it)
Nurse: I usually use the right arm?
Me: It's prosthetic.
Nurse: Put this on your forefinger
Me: I hope the previous guy didn't have an open wound on his finger like I do... ok.
Nurse: And, put this under your tongue.
Me: Rgmrfksshins...? (Got any more questions?)
Nurse: Step up on the scale.
Me: my boots weigh a whole pound.
Nurse: And one last thing, blow into this as hard as you can. Face the wall.
Me: Wouldn't want my deadly germs hitting you in the face.
Nurse: Blow as hard as you can!
Me: I suppose '400' isn't epic enough? If that had been my temperature, we'd both be in trouble.
"He coughs up blood?"
"Not like he used to...."
Maybe you've guessed, half or more of this is inner monologue.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
All I have to say is: I lol'd.
Also, ZOMG ARE YOU OK? Although...consumption IS quite attractive, in an anemic Victorian sort of way...
Teehee. I'm ok. Though it hasn't gone away yet.
They didn't test for consumption.
I'm glad I have the powers of lol, even from afar.
Post a Comment