R-R-Really

On this day, 5 years ago I was already thinking of you.
For a month I'd been. 5 years counting, true.
Rain days in our southern forest, smoke hued sunlight, one umbrella hun,
these days will always remind me of you, what I wanted to do,
Now they remind that every time we speak
New hate rolls off your lips like honey acid in my ear,
I'd be deaf if I could listen but instead I hear:

"days go by and still I think of you. days when I could have lived my life"
I think of you on days that end, and don't end in any particular way.
I think of you as I share my food, a butter, a bread, a bubble, a seed.
You're in every song and film I've ever seen
And in the cologne of men who read
and in all the eyes of sad strangers, your legs walk away and you're in the dancers,
your laugh scoffs the architecture of other cancers.... "days go by" but I don't feel them leave.